Why I Hate the Texas Rangers

I’ve had some time now to try and get over the Yankees’ elimination. It hasn’t gone well. What a surprise…

Instead of moping about my poor boys’ fate, I’ve been angry. Angry at the Texas Rangers. Now every time I think about them, I find something else that bothers me. There is just nothing to like about these guys. I have a list of reasons why I hate the Rangers…and I might have to keep on revising it. Here’s what I have so far:

Lack of Hygiene

The Rangers are gross. I mean eeew. Elvis Andrus, especially. The dude hasn’t cut his hair since before Spring Training. Think about how gross that is…


What an attractive man…

My Yankees have a very strict hygiene policy. They always have to be clean shaven, neat, well-dressed, and classy-looking. ALL of my Yankees look hot and sexy all the time. What a bunch of guys ♥

Another Texas Ranger who is gross is Ron Washington. EVERY SINGLE TIME the camera is on him, he’s chewing. And spitting. Chewing…spitting…chewing…spitting…ENOUGH ALREADY!!! His area of the dugout must be overflowing with seeds. I’ve never seen a baseball man chew and spit as much as Ron Washington. It’s utterly disgusting.

                      OAKLAND, CA - AUGUST 08:  Manager Ron Washington of the Texas Rangers looks on against the Oakland Athletics during an MLB game at the Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum on August 8, 2010 in Oakland, California.  (Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images)


Speaking of Ron Washington, I just thought of another GROSS habit of the Rangers…

They Do Drugs

This one is self explanatory. I wouldn’t want to hang around a bunch of druggies. Josh Hamilton was a drug addict. But I shouldn’t pick on him. He’s a good guy. Now he’s clean, and he has turned over a new leaf. I do respect Hamilton.

As for Ron Washington, yeah…I don’t respect him at all. I mean he’s an old guy. An old guy doing cocaine? That’s worse than a young guy doing cocaine. He should’ve known better. What a way to be a role model for the team.

Joe Girardi is quite the opposite of Washington. Although I don’t always agree with every move he makes, I know he’s a good manager – and an even better guy. Girardi is a family man. And he is a great role model for his players. For a 46 year old, Girardi is in fabulous shape – he looks like he can still play.

-“Team Texas”

This one really gets on my nerves. For some reason, the Texas Rangers have 4 different uniforms. The white one, the gray one, the RED one (with a red hat and red socks), and the BLUE one.


There are a few things that really bug me about these uniforms. First, they wear the stupid red one more than they wear their white one. And since the hat and socks are red with that one, they don’t even look like the Texas Rangers. My brother and I always say this: there are TOO MANY TEAMS who wear red. Why must the Rangers wear red when it’s not even their color?

But look closely at all of the Rangers’ uniforms. What do they all have in common?

They ALL say “TEXAS.”

If I didn’t know who they were, I would NEVER know they were the Texas Rangers. Not one place on any of their uniforms does it say “Rangers.”

Why don’t they just change their name to “Team Texas” or something! It’s so obnoxious! I mean what are they trying to prove???

My Yankees have the perfect baseball uniforms. They don’t have seven thousand different combos of unis. They have a home jersey, and an away jersey. They wear their home whites and road grays. And they have their warm-up navy uniforms. The home uniforms have the Yankee symbol, the road one says “New York.” When looking at the Yankees, you know they are the Yankees. With the Rangers, not so much. It’s hard to tell what team they are because they have SO MANY STUPID UNIFORMS!!!!

Claw and Antlers?

Do I even have to explain this one? I mean, just how lame could they get? CLAW and ANTLERS??? What the heck does that even mean? And do they REALLY have to do it every single time they get a hit or steal a base? Talk about obnoxious…I’m glad my Yankees are classy.

And the stupid Texas fans make it worse. They embraced these idiotic expressions. Why? WHAT ARE THEY? The team tried to create something to give them character, but they failed. What do claws and antlers have to do with the Texas Rangers? Or Team Texas, or whatever they are. I’m surprised they didn’t add this ridiculous thing to their excessive uniform wardrobe:


It’s perfect for the team to add to their uniforms. Just like the other ones: You can’t tell what team it’s for and it doesn’t say “Rangers” anywhere on it. 

Oh look! How appropriate. They have it in RED, too!!!

claw and antlers.jpg


God. This team really bothers me. I sure hope they lose. Go Giants!

I love you, Yanks!



  1. crzblue2

    So sorry about the Yankees. I hope that you are feeling better. I can unterstand your dislike of the Rangers.
    I do agree with you on the unis.
    BTW, I am glad that Ron Washington was given a second chance. That team has faced some hurdles that they have learned to overcome. And I hope Josh Hamilton continues to celebrate with Ginger Ale.

  2. stock350

    Great blog! Fortunatly the Yankees wont be making a World Series appearance. And Im glad. So are a lot of people, I think.

    The Yankees are constantly in the playoffs. A lot of people would argue the fact that they are just that good. Well, my take on the AL East is that all the other teams are just that bad.

    Finishing in last place; The Baltimore Orioles. A horrible team led by an even worse managing team. Now that they have Buck Showalter, will things turn around? Who knows.

    Finishing in fourth place; The Toronto Blue Jays. Let by home run king Jose Bautista, thats about all that team had to offer their fans. That dude hitting mile home runs in the Rogers Centre. Barely finishing over .500, they finished 11 games out of first place, and really had no shot at the wild card or the division since after the All-Star break.

    Finishing in third place; The Boston Redsox. What more can I say? With a slumping Big Papi, that team simply fell apart.

    Winning the Wild Card; The New York Yankees. Because the Red Sox didnt.

    Winning the AL East Division; The Tampa Bay Rays. Tough to say. Ive watched these guys play all year, and moreso towards the end of the season they played like crap. I watched them play in Kansas City for the last road series, and they let Kansas City run all over them. No wonder they lost to Texas. They have no heart.

    The Yankees are held to such a high standard from their past successes. But its really great to see some new blood in the playoffs. Im also glad the Phillies lost to the Giants. Theyre about wearing out their welcome as far as Im concerned as well.

    I will say this though. The Yankees do have some exceptional talent. Derek Jeter, Lance Berkman, Alex Rodriguez, Jorge Posada, Curtis Granderson, Nick Swisher, Andy Pettite, CC Sabathia, and Marano Rivera.

  3. devilabrit

    As close as the Phillies and Yankees got to a repeat of last years WS, it is inevitable that Yankee fans would support the NL team and Phillies fans would support the AL team, just because of the LCS outcomes.. funny actually that allegiances to the AL and NL switch because we both lost in the LCS


    Phillies Outside

  4. bhood

    WOW!!! how are you going to say all these things without even knowing any history of the Rangers. First off they have red uniforms as their alternate because they wanted to bring something back from their only good part of history before demolishing your yankees to win the ALCS. In the mid 90’s the when the ranger were actually winning the division almost every year the wore RED. Almost every team has a alternate uniform now. And you act like your players are so much better with drugs, hahahahahaha perfect example A-FRAUD has done way worse, and he did it to cheat the game. SO JUST BECAUSE YOUR YANKEES LOST DOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE TO BASH EVERY LITTLE THING YOU DONT LIKE ABOUT THAT TEAM THAT BEAT THEM. GROW UP LOL.

  5. southernbelle

    A-Rod did steroids while with your Rangers. He has been clean for awhile now and he still has plenty of good years ahead of him. And he’s ten times sexier than all the Rangers put together. Alternate uniforms are pointless. If the Rangers want to wear that red one, then why don’t they just make it their regular uniform, since they wear it more anyways? Don’t think you can argue history with me, because although I’m 17, I bet I know more than you. I can bash whoever I want because this is America, and I love my first amendment rights.

  6. TexasRangers

    You just sayin’ this stuff bout the rangers beacuase we finally beat y’all. Look at our logo retards!! It has red…and white…and blue! Back in the 90’s our home uniform was red and white, and we wanted to bring something back from when we won our divison. We’ve also had the blue unifroms since like 2003. And we don’t even come close to having the worst jerseys in the Majors…look at the Royals gay baby blue uniforms they wear! I do understand what you said about the Texas thing, but use common sense…really? It’s the ALCS and you’re playing a team from Texas…who else would it be, the Astros? Another thing is you said we have bad hygiene…and you could only point out one person who had long hair…thats not even that bad…He hasn’t had hair that long since then either, and if your talking about his chinstrap mustache that he has, there are a lot more people with beards in the MLB than you can probably think of. And yes Ron did do cocaine…thats bad yes…but it happened in the off-season and it had pretty much blown over by the time the season started. Josh did do drugs…like 5 years ago…Do you know how many Yankees have probably done coacaine and steriods??? Next time you want to dog us because we beat your precious Yankees…it might help to do some research first before you cry to the internet about it!!!!

  7. Earl

    Hey, You commented about the uniforms saying “Texas” being stupid. But you also said the Yanks wear a jersey that says “New York”. So I guess its the Mets playing right? You are just making contradicting arguments with that statement and the storied comment as well. Ranger fans love there team and are glad to support the rangers. Antlers and Claws all the way!

    • southernbelle

      Did you not read what I said? Yes, the Yankees wear “New York” on their AWAY uniforms like every other team in baseball except the Rangers. EVERY SINGLE UNIFORM the Rangers wear says “Texas.” Not one says “Rangers.” If I didn’t already know them, I would never be able to tell what the team was by their uniform…I’d think they were called “Team Texas.” That’s what I hate about it. Away uniforms are supposed to say the city, that’s what the Yankees have and I like that. I just think the Rangers uniforms are silly.

  8. TexasRangers

    I just think your silly…and when did you get to decide what the rangers and the rest of baseball has to put on their away uniforms? And having four uniforms isnt all that bad. the mets, rockies, astros, and royals all have about four or five diifferent unis and the Mets have about three different batting helmets, and when did baseball become a buety pagent?????

    • southernbelle

      Wow I’m just seeing this now. I was just expressing my opinion here. I hate excessive uniforms. I know other teams have them, but why would I write a rant about how I hate the Rockies or some other random team, when they have nothing to do with anything? I wrote this last year after the playoffs because I hated the Rangers and was picking on them. As for the beauty pageant, I agree. Why are there so many different uniforms?

  9. Jim

    The Yankees have always been the class organization in MLB. There is no doubt about that and it is a great accomplishment to knock them out of the playoffs. The Rangers accomplished that last year and it was a great year for Team Texas. If we face the Yanks again this year, we will attempt to do it to the team from New York again. It will not be easy, but you can be assured that we will do our best to get back to the World Series. We could wear shorts and t-shirts and we would still give it the old TEXAS try. We attempt to reach the level that the Yanks have attained. And guess what? We don’t have near the money to spend on players that the team from New York has always dished out. On top of that there are a couple of former Rangers playing for the Bronx Bombers because of the money. If you ever watch the Rangers play, you will see a group of guys who genuinely love to play the game and who support and stand up for each other. They are fun to watch.

  10. Thomas Tinling

    They are polar opposites of NYY and along with pride the Yanks have class. Lets face it the Rangers have benefitted tremendously the last two years from their weak division. In your blog what you didn’t mention about the Yankees uniforms is that on the back it only shows the players number, and no name! This, I am pretty sure, is only done by the Yanks and the Red Sox.

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