Tagged: My Yankees are Sexy

Why I Hate the Texas Rangers

I’ve had some time now to try and get over the Yankees’ elimination. It hasn’t gone well. What a surprise…

Instead of moping about my poor boys’ fate, I’ve been angry. Angry at the Texas Rangers. Now every time I think about them, I find something else that bothers me. There is just nothing to like about these guys. I have a list of reasons why I hate the Rangers…and I might have to keep on revising it. Here’s what I have so far:

Lack of Hygiene

The Rangers are gross. I mean eeew. Elvis Andrus, especially. The dude hasn’t cut his hair since before Spring Training. Think about how gross that is…


What an attractive man…

My Yankees have a very strict hygiene policy. They always have to be clean shaven, neat, well-dressed, and classy-looking. ALL of my Yankees look hot and sexy all the time. What a bunch of guys ♥

Another Texas Ranger who is gross is Ron Washington. EVERY SINGLE TIME the camera is on him, he’s chewing. And spitting. Chewing…spitting…chewing…spitting…ENOUGH ALREADY!!! His area of the dugout must be overflowing with seeds. I’ve never seen a baseball man chew and spit as much as Ron Washington. It’s utterly disgusting.

                      OAKLAND, CA - AUGUST 08:  Manager Ron Washington of the Texas Rangers looks on against the Oakland Athletics during an MLB game at the Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum on August 8, 2010 in Oakland, California.  (Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images)


Speaking of Ron Washington, I just thought of another GROSS habit of the Rangers…

They Do Drugs

This one is self explanatory. I wouldn’t want to hang around a bunch of druggies. Josh Hamilton was a drug addict. But I shouldn’t pick on him. He’s a good guy. Now he’s clean, and he has turned over a new leaf. I do respect Hamilton.

As for Ron Washington, yeah…I don’t respect him at all. I mean he’s an old guy. An old guy doing cocaine? That’s worse than a young guy doing cocaine. He should’ve known better. What a way to be a role model for the team.

Joe Girardi is quite the opposite of Washington. Although I don’t always agree with every move he makes, I know he’s a good manager – and an even better guy. Girardi is a family man. And he is a great role model for his players. For a 46 year old, Girardi is in fabulous shape – he looks like he can still play.

-“Team Texas”

This one really gets on my nerves. For some reason, the Texas Rangers have 4 different uniforms. The white one, the gray one, the RED one (with a red hat and red socks), and the BLUE one.


There are a few things that really bug me about these uniforms. First, they wear the stupid red one more than they wear their white one. And since the hat and socks are red with that one, they don’t even look like the Texas Rangers. My brother and I always say this: there are TOO MANY TEAMS who wear red. Why must the Rangers wear red when it’s not even their color?

But look closely at all of the Rangers’ uniforms. What do they all have in common?

They ALL say “TEXAS.”

If I didn’t know who they were, I would NEVER know they were the Texas Rangers. Not one place on any of their uniforms does it say “Rangers.”

Why don’t they just change their name to “Team Texas” or something! It’s so obnoxious! I mean what are they trying to prove???

My Yankees have the perfect baseball uniforms. They don’t have seven thousand different combos of unis. They have a home jersey, and an away jersey. They wear their home whites and road grays. And they have their warm-up navy uniforms. The home uniforms have the Yankee symbol, the road one says “New York.” When looking at the Yankees, you know they are the Yankees. With the Rangers, not so much. It’s hard to tell what team they are because they have SO MANY STUPID UNIFORMS!!!!

Claw and Antlers?

Do I even have to explain this one? I mean, just how lame could they get? CLAW and ANTLERS??? What the heck does that even mean? And do they REALLY have to do it every single time they get a hit or steal a base? Talk about obnoxious…I’m glad my Yankees are classy.

And the stupid Texas fans make it worse. They embraced these idiotic expressions. Why? WHAT ARE THEY? The team tried to create something to give them character, but they failed. What do claws and antlers have to do with the Texas Rangers? Or Team Texas, or whatever they are. I’m surprised they didn’t add this ridiculous thing to their excessive uniform wardrobe:


It’s perfect for the team to add to their uniforms. Just like the other ones: You can’t tell what team it’s for and it doesn’t say “Rangers” anywhere on it. 

Oh look! How appropriate. They have it in RED, too!!!

claw and antlers.jpg


God. This team really bothers me. I sure hope they lose. Go Giants!

I love you, Yanks!